I started writing this entry around my one week into my first Japan trip. Despite being ethnically east asian, growing up in a first-gen asian american household, and living in an area with a heavy east asian population, I’ve experienced culture shock from visiting Japan.
The defacto American perspective of Japan I came to hear about anecdotally revolved around societal norms that don’t really exist in America; the baseline expectation of each individual to contribute to society is much greater.
For example, the streets are impeccably clean despite there being little to no public trash cans. People wait in lines without cutting, belongings are left around as stealing seldom occurs, and packed rush hour trains are “pin drop” quiet so not to disturb other riders. There’s a general acknowledgement of your fellow neighbor, and habits baked into the culture place the onus of responsibility on each individual to better support the society.
In terms of supporting the society, there’s also a push to better assist those who are most vulnerable. There are arguments that these are reactionary solutions, but I still think they’re good nonetheless. There are “women-only” train cars, disabled priority elevators, and signage to give priority to an elderly, disabled, pregnant, or otherwise “in-need” person.
Most importantly, the culture abides by these rules. I recall riding a bus and a young person was sitting in a priority seat. A woman who looked like she was in her 60s comes onto the bus, and the other passenger immediately gave up the seat to her. On the next stop, a man who looked to be in his 80s got on the bus, and the previous woman immediately offered up the seat to him.
These all sound like great things, but after two weeks in Japan, I’ve experienced some difficulty with it. Granted, I’ve been reassured heavily that as a tourist, there’s less of an expectation for me to know the customs. The friends I traveled with are fairly well-versed in Japanese cultural norms and have been trying to travel as respectfully as possible. As someone who only knew of the few most common rules, there’s been a significant learning curve to getting everything “right”.
Instinctually, I want to take a sip of water while running around all day in 88 degree heat, but as I uncap the bottle, I remember no drinking/eating while walking. Bottles and trash of varying materials accumulate in my book bag as the day lags on, no trash cans in sight other than an occasional ‘bottle only’ derivative. I have a loud voice with, let’s say, an “American” volume control, so I find myself immediately insecure after letting out a genuine laugh.
My anxiety in daily American life has mostly dissolved away after learning to become more indifferent to how others may perceive me. But in Japan it felt negligent to be indifferent - everyone else seems to be bearing the same cross, so why shouldn’t I do the same?
When I would be put in unfamiliar situations, I could feel my anxiety building. I’d stand to the side to watch what locals do and try to copy them to a tee. My friends and I would follow what we saw a local do, thinking it’s part of some unwritten rule, only to later see other locals doing something completely different; the desire to match the level of respectfulness ended up causing instances of paranoia.
After writing the above portion, I was curious to see the research on this and skimmed a few articles/abstracts. One term to define beforehand is Taijin Kyofusho or TKS which I saw used in most of the relevant articles. It essentially means, “other-focused social anxiety” which is the feeling I was describing above.
Arimitsu, K., Hitokoto, H., Kind, S. et al. Differences in Compassion, Well-being, and Social Anxiety Between Japan and the USA. Mindfulness 10, 854–862 (2019). https://doi.org/10.1007/s12671-018-1045-6
Consistent with the hypothesis, we found an interaction effect that self-compassion had a stronger association with positive affect in the USA than in Japan.
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The results support the hypothesis that compared to self-compassion, compassion for others was associated with interdependent happiness only in Japan.
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These findings suggest that the link between compassion, well-being, and psychopathology might be universal, although the effects of the two types of compassion have different patterns between the two cultures.
Norasakkunkit, V., Kitayama, S., & Uchida, Y. (2012). Social Anxiety and Holistic Cognition: Self-Focused Social Anxiety in the United States and Other-Focused Social Anxiety in Japan. Journal of Cross-Cultural Psychology, 43(5), 742-757. https://doi.org/10.1177/0022022111405658
Note: I interpret “holistic cognition” to loosely refer to collectivist thinking
The current study found that, … , social phobia tendencies, given their self-focused nature, were associated with decreased levels of holistic cognition while TKS tendencies, given their other-focused nature, were associated with increased levels of holistic cognition.
Thus, holistic cognition served as an important basic cognitive feature which distinguishes between the two culturally divergent versions of social anxiety.
All this to say, the TKS I experienced is a huge first-world problem, and something I believe I can adjust to, given time. I’m not forgetting any of the perceived benefits.
As I was getting off the plane to go back home, other antsy Americans from the back rows lined up in the aisle, blocking people in rows ahead from grabbing their overhead luggage. In fact, people were tackling through, creating a weird, unfair flow of traffic just to get off the plane a minute or two faster than others. Getting shoulder slammed by a guy who sat six rows behind me who was impatient, was the most American welcome I could have received. In other words, I missed the collectivist social norms in Japan before I even made it to customs.
Bit more yappy, but as always, thanks for reading.
- chib
I had a similar experience in Toronto for their infrastructure. I loved public transportation and the convenience of constant buses and trains. I get nervous about traveling because I am worried I will like the other place so much more that being here will feel more like torture. I think I got this a little in Toronto but they're genuinely so much ruder on a surface level than here in ATL. People shoving others away and nobody saying "thank you". Stupid small things. I got used to it but it was a culture shock for me.
On the other hand I hear a lot from people living in Japan that the collective mindset brings more shame and anxiety than its worth. I see Japanese people online directly disagree with American idealism on Japanese societal norms. They say it feels like being constantly watched and monitored, and I believe they feel it more deeply than someone just visiting. Smaller things you mess up on they would never, but the finer details and constant judgement wears them down. I highly recommend reading "Earthlings" by Sayaka Murata if you're curious on a more in depth (and insane) take on this!
Isn't it so interesting how in American culture, we are often told to ignore the noise and be indifferent to what others think of us? I feel like a lot of my own anxiety, particularly from the last few years, came from my perceptions of what others would think of me. And those perceptions would actually guide the way that I acted and behaved, which would just crystallize in reality those beliefs that may or may not have true in the first place. That type of thinking was very much self-interested and self-focused. But anyways, back to the main point. Like you, I am trying to learn to be more indifferent to how others may perceive me, and while this type of behavior is looked upon favorably here, I find it pretty fascinating how this "positive" reaction could be frowned upon or interpreted as negligent in other Eastern cultures like Japan. My favorite entry yet! Thanks for taking the time to write this up and share it!